God is Good, All of the Time

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who called, texted, and messaged me to check on us after our accident this week. It means the world to us to have a support system thinking of us and praying for us. We’re especially thankful for our families who have bent over backward to help us out and allow me to rest this week. I very much needed it, and am realizing after going out for brunch this morning, that I still need it.

If you’re thinking what in the world is she talking about, I will catch you up to speed. This past Tuesday started off so great! Raley and I shared a special Mommy-daughter day together in the morning while Audrey was at school. She chose to play at Altitude, the trampoline park, and we had a great time. It’s so fun to watch her run around and play, and come up with games for us to play together. Time one-on-one with my girls is so special and I am so glad I took the opportunity that morning to spend that time together.

After school we went to the dance studio for recital pictures (which were adorable) then I took a load of stuff that I had packed up from our house over to my parents’ house to store for a bit until we get moved. I quickly dropped everything off, and started to head home to put the girls down for a nap. I’d planned on letting the girls nap for a little bit and getting some more cleaning done around the house while they were resting.

I had no idea that I was about to experience the scariest moment of my life and spend the rest of the evening in the Emergency Department.

As I was waiting to pull off of my parents’ road, there was a bus turning right onto their road. As far as I could tell, the road was clear for me to pull out and turn left, so I did. Before I could see it coming I heard a loud noise, felt pain in my head, and felt our car spinning around. Still, when I think about it, it makes me cringe. My first thoughts, that all went through my head in a matter of seconds, were what was that, omg we were just hit, ouch my head, are the girls ok, we’re spinning, please stop, please God keep us safe, are the girls ok, I’m dizzy, please God keep me awake, please protect us.

I turned around to be sure the girls were alright. Raley was saying she bit her tongue, but didn’t appear to be hurt in any other way. Audrey had bit her tongue and it was bleeding, and she was crying uncontrollably. But they were both conscious and seemed to be ok. I called 911, which I think maybe was a mistake because they kept me on the line for a long time, and there were 2 or 3 other people who called them as well. I just wanted to get off the phone and comfort my kids and call David and my mom. Since we were so close to my parents’ house I called my mom and she came to us immediately.

I started to feel a little less dizzy, so the first responders said it would be ok if I got out and talked to Raley, because I knew she was scared (mom was comforting Audrey). This was a mistake though, because I ended up getting very dizzy and passing out, which scared her even more. I woke up on the ground with about 5 people standing over me, and they immediately got me into the ambulance and on my way to Huntsville Hospital.

Because Audrey was so uncontrollable, and couldn’t tell us what was hurting, I had told them to take her in too, just to be sure we weren’t missing something. They took her to Madison Hospital. Because they only had one seat in the back of the ambulance, they couldn’t take Audrey, Raley, and Mom together, so Audrey had to ride by herself in the ambulance. She keeps telling me she was scared in there by herself. 😥 But she says that the “guys” who were with her were very nice and made her feel better. The firemen on the scene drove my mom and Raley back to their house in the firetruck to try and distract Raley from having to leave Audrey, which she thought was cool.

David met all of them at Madison Hospital to be with the girls, and my dad met me at Huntsville. Thankfully they said Audrey was ok, and discharged her pretty quickly.

They got me to CT almost immediately after arriving, but I didn’t hear the results for over 3 hours. Thankfully the CT was fine (I was so worried about a head bleed), and they let me go later that night. That time in the ED was quite frustrating because I was in the worst pain of my life, there wasn’t much I could do about it, and everything took way longer than it should have.  I won’t go into detail about my experience there, but it wasn’t the greatest.

There are so many little blessings I can see through this whole situation, one of which is that we were so close to my parents’ house and that my mom was able to get there quickly.  I knew that I would end up going by ambulance to the hospital, and if my mom had not been there, my girls would have been by themselves and that would have been terrifying for all of us.

The biggest blessing though, is how God’s protective hand was on us the entire time. It is not lost on me that this accident could have been much, much worse. In fact, it haunts me a bit, even though I try not to let it. Had I been further out into the intersection when the oncoming car hit, this accident could have taken my life, or worse, one or both of my kids’ lives. I keep myself pretty distracted during the day so I don’t think about it too much, but when I lay down to go to sleep, the “what-ifs” are overwhelming. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to be alive today.

I know that Heaven is our ultimate goal, and this world is only temporary, and I shouldn’t be afraid of dying, but the thought of my children growing up without their mother, and David losing his wife and having to raise them on his own absolutely breaks my heart. Maybe it shouldn’t be that way, but it is.

In case you’re wondering how we’re doing now – the girls are great. They’re acting normal, but sometimes will mention the wreck and how scary it was. I am so thankful for their car seats. They had basically no injuries and I credit this to God and car seats. They very well may be in a 5-point harness until they’re 10.

I’m doing better. If I’m up moving around too much I still get a bit light-headed. Sometimes I notice blurry spots in my vision and throbbing in my ear, but I think these are normal concussion symptoms that will hopefully subside soon. I’m still pretty sore in my head, neck, back, and side where I hit the car door. The swelling in my head keeps migrating down my face and is leaving bruising along the way, but honestly, my head doesn’t look as bad as I would have expected. I’m getting better day by day, but I realized after going to Cracker Barrel this morning, that I’m not ready to be up-and-at-em at full speed yet. Just that short time out, around a lot of movement and a lot of noise, was messing with my head. I’m also a bit fearful to get behind a wheel again, although I know I’ll have to next week.

Please, if you don’t mind, continue to pray for us. Pray that we will heal emotionally and physically. Pray that my concussion symptoms and overall soreness will subside soon, and that my wounds will heal. Please pray that this experience will not haunt the girls and that I can get past the fear. Also say a quick prayer of thanksgiving for God’s protecting hand. Thank you again for your support through it all.

I already knew this to be fact, but it’s even more evident now – Our God is good, all of the time.