A little while back I was shopping in Gymboree and heard a mom call her 4(ish) year old daughter (who was acting silly) “you little slut.” I’m pretty sure I froze in my tracks trying to figure out if I heard what I thought I did. This got me thinking about how big of an impact our words can have on our children’s self worth.
There are a few things I say to my girls every single day, that I hope will encourage and build them up.
I make it a point to tell my girls positive things all day long. If they do something smart, I tell them. If they do something funny, I tell them. If they do something sweet, I tell them. This boosts confidence, encourages good behavior, and sets an example of how they should talk to others.
I think I’ve used this phrase the most in regards to potty training. For a while she was very resistant to it and took a lot of encouragement. I want her to know that she is capable and if she tries she can do whatever she puts her mind to.
5. You make me happy
You’re a good helper/listener/singer/dancer/big sister. You draw such pretty pictures. You’re doing such a good job going potty. You’re doing a good job eating
This goes back to number 3. I want them to know they are beautiful inside and out. I want them to be confident. I don’t want them to have body issues. I struggled with feeling “skinny” and “pretty” when I was younger (and still do sometimes) because I would compare myself to other people. I want my girls to feel better about themselves than I did growing up. Plus they really are beautiful!
|On this day Raley wanted Audrey to dress up like Cinderella too. Pretty little Princesses!|
I read a post by a fellow blogger a while back that really stuck with me. In this post the author talked about how her mom gave her a piece of advice which changed the way she made parenting decisions. She said “Don’t say no when you can say yes.” I am so thankful that I came across this post because it has since changed my way of thinking as well.
P.S. Follow Erica at Whimsical September – she writes some great stuff!
There are things I won’t always give her just because she asks. I try to regulate the amount of sweets and the amount TV time they get. I hardly ever let her play with my phone anymore (she used to want it all the time and would throw a fit when it was time to put it away. We had to nip that in the bud real quick.)
But if I don’t have a good reason to say no, I try to say yes, even if it’s inconvenient.
When she asks if she can change dress up outfits for the 20th time that morning, I say yes.
When she asks me to dance with her when I’m in the middle of making dinner, I stop what I’m doing and say yes.
When she asks me to “fly” her down the stairs wearing her Tinker Bell wings, I say yes.
When she asks me to lay with her just a little bit longer at bed time, I say yes.
When she asks me to hold her, I say yes.
Because it won’t be much long before she won’t be asking these things anymore. So I’ll keep saying yes.
9. I’m happy to see you
After a long day at work, or even when we first wake up in the morning, I want them to know how happy I am to be with them. They are my everything and even if I have to be away from them for a while, they should know that I will always come back and would much rather spend time with them. A few months ago Raley started saying this to me when I’d walk through the door (before I could say it to her) and it makes my heart want to explode! I could have the worst day, but to come home to a toddler who says “I’m so happy to see you, Mommy” and a great big hug makes everything float away.
10. I’m proud of you
This is another one that I say quite a bit during potty training, but have tried to make it a point to say in other aspects of her life too. I am incredibly proud of the sweet, silly, smart girl she is growing into and she needs to know just that.
My goal in life is to raise happy, strong, confident, kind, christian girls who will spread positivity to others. I strongly believe that the way to do this is to start in the home with language that they hear every single day.